| August 2009 | Page 1 Of 1 | |
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Need A Blue Tuba Player?
Posted On 2009-08-27 , 5:46 PM
This is Lynn reporting semi live from….what am I saying! I’ve been around that guy too long.  The following report was pulled from the ashes….you’ll see.
Ace Essay here reporting semi live from some club (can’t tell you) in St. Louis, a little poorer and a hand that is bruised but none the less ready to complete my undercover blues. With me is my groupie Lynn, actually she’s out front in the audience sitting at a table eating something spicy and drinking an adult beverage.
I’m wearing an undercover wire so as not to give myself away while I meander backstage mingling with the blue musicians, or is that the blues’ musician? I have to say you can feel the excitement in the air as these guys hang out waiting to get ready to perform. Oh someone is approaching looks like he wants to speak to me.
“You harmonica man”
“Me? Oh Yeah me, I am the harmonica man. What’s shaken man?
“What? You play the harmonica right?”
“Sure do”
“Great we need you to sit in for Jerome”
“Sure where do you want me to sit, over there?”
“Funny. We’re on in 5”
“Oh.. Oh! Wait a minute I can’t..Ah I don’t what you’re playing”
“Funny yeah your funny just jump in man it’s all the same...come on lets get ready”
Psst folks… Ace here I’m heading onto the stage, not sure what’s going to happen but it’s kind of cool up here.
Music playing….
“Hey harmonica man jump in”
“Ok in 3, 2, 1 and”…..squawk…squawk…squawk
Music playing…….suddenly stopping…..silence except for the squawking of the harmonica
People booing, a bottle crashes on stage, then a chair…then Ace flying through the air off the stage onto a table. Wrong table! As drinks and crawdads spill on a very big guy, who then lunges for Ace but misses.
Ace running towards the door but crashes into a waiter carrying a flaming cherries jubilee! Said jubilee flies across the room into the bar……whoosh…end of tape.
Lynn here and just for the record it was a very mild adult drink. As for Ace well the man can run, so standing in this is Lynn saying until next time.
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Hard to say no when you're looking up!
Posted On 2009-08-24 , 3:36 PM
Ace Essay here reporting semi live from St. Louis, Mo. I know it has been quite awhile since you last heard from me (and  I’m sure you missed me greatly) but all I’m going to say is never and I mean never go into the swamp with two banjo players.
I’m here with my staff (ouch) I mean my associate Lynn (as usual she shows no respect) and I’m going under cover to investigate “The Blues”.
What are the blues you ask? Depression, anxiety, lonliness, (ouch..What? Oh! Sure. Ok) I have been reminded that these blues are not those blues that these blues don’t make you blue you actually feel the blue that makes you happy in a blue sort of way.
Folks this is Lynn. What Ace is trying to say is that “The Blues” is music. See Ace how easy that was?
Whatever, I am here dressed as a blues musician, baggy gray pants, scuffed brown wingtips, blue denim half unbuttoned shirt, a gray beret and holding a harmonica. I haven't shaved for three days to give me that down and lived in look. I hope you folks appreciate all the hardships I go through, I mean have you ever worn a gray beret?
My plan is a simple one. (Yes Lynn I know all my plans are simple. That's what makes them so great.) Anyway I will enter one of the clubs poising as a musician (ah no Lynn I can't play the harmonica) I will be able to get close to the other musicians and find out what makes their blues, blue. But first I need to go to “The Arch”
“The Arch” is that big white horseshoe thing that sits by the river. Here we are looking up at how tall it is. Of course it’s easier to see it if you’re lying on your back but someone, whose name I won’t mention (Lynn) thinks it’s un-cool. But I will keep with my instincts and conduct my interview from this position.
“Excuse me Sir! Yes that is my hand you’re stepping on. Say while you’re just standing there would you mind answering a few questions? I will take rolling eyes as a yes.
“Let me introduce myself my name is…”
“Yeah I know who you are. You’re that reporter from San Francisco.”
“Ah so my reputation has preceded me!”
“Yeah ah whatever. So you don’t mind me standing on your hand?
“No it’s numb now. What brought you down here today to “The Arch”
“The Bus.”
No I mean why did you come here today?”
“It’s Thursday.”
“And Thursday is important because..?”
“Because I always come to “The Arch” on Thursday.”
“Excuse me but is that a knife you just pulled out of your pocket?”
“No it’s a letter opener I received for a 5 year safety award. Now hand me your wallet.”
Lynn here. Ace is sort of occupied at the moment but I’m sure he would want me to say he’s glad to be back…..so what do you mean you want my purse. I’ll give you my purse all right across your fat head…yeah you better run!
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| August 2009 | Page 1 Of 1 | |
